{ life }

a big day

Today I will be baking and cleaning in preparation for M's birthday party tonight which will undoubtedly keep me busy throughout the day, but that is not what makes today a big day. Instead today goes down as a monumental motherhood moment because I have allowed E to hangout with his friends after school.

There will be a large group of boys, and they do seem to have a rough plan of events that should keep them busy, but I still worry that there is too much potential for mischief to occur. I completely trust E but unfortunately I can't say that about all his friends, and therein lies my concern.

As a parent I want to raise independent children, but I also want to protect them the best I can. Unfortunately I have discovered that there comes a time when you have to have faith that your child has the necessary life skills to protect themselves to a certain degree, in order for them to gain greater independence.

So today is a big day for him, but even bigger for me...

appearances can be deceiving

From Creativity by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

"Creative individuals are often considered odd - or even arrogant, selfish, and ruthless. it is important to keep in mind that these are not traits of creative people, but traits the rest of us attribute to them on the basis of our perceptions. When we meet a person who focuses all of his attention on physics or music and ignores us and forgets our names, we call that person "arrogant" even though he may be extremely humble and friendly if he could only spare attention from his pursuit. If that person is so taken with his domain that he fails to take our wishes into account we call him "insensitive" or "selfish" even though such attitudes are far from his mind. Similarly, if he pursues his work regardless of other people's plans, we call him "ruthless". Yet it is practically impossible to learn a domain deeply enough to make a change in it without dedicating all of one's attention to it and thereby appearing to be arrogant, selfish, and ruthless to those who believe they have a right to the creative person's attention.

In fact, creative people are neither single-minded, specialized, nor selfish. Indeed, they seem to be the opposite: They love to make connections with adjacent areas of knowledge. They tend to be - in principle - caring and sensitive. Yet the demands of their role inevitable push them towards specialization and selfishness. Of the many paradoxes of creativity, this is perhaps the most difficult to avoid."

Personally I know how easy it can be to wrap yourself in a project that you feel requires your attention and every ounce of energy you can spare, to the unfortunate peril of the life that surrounds you. It is not an intentional process, but one that grows out of a personal desire to create something better than what you have done before, and something to share with those who share your field. It does seem arrogant on the surface, but it is more to do with progression, learning and personal fulfillment.

Here is what I have been up to for the past few weeks, while the rest of my life seems to have been put on hold.

 

 

 

It might seem like a bunch of pretty pictures to some, but to me this is weeks of research, planning, designing and drawing, but most importantly it is where I practice my creativity, and where I feel a defining sense of self.

michael gelb said

"Confusion is the welcome mat at the door of creativity."

If you live your life creatively then one of the hardest things you have to come to terms with is the fact that there must always be a starting point for any project you are working on, and that sometimes the enormous range of possibilities that your mind will begin to see are so overwhelming that confusion is often the first reaction, and sometimes a creative block becomes the result.

For school this term I am creating an office space that fills a Bluestone Victorian Villa for a potential interior design business. My initial reaction was one I have come to expect - I am both excited and perplexed at the same time. Not knowing what my final design will be, my mind immediately sees a number of potential possibilities, and it is easy to let so much choice become nothing but confusion.

I have been interested in creativity for a number of years now, and love to read about creative people and they way they approach life. From all my reading I have learnt that confusion is a part of the creative process, but it is important that you not let it become your stumbling block. You only have to make one single decision, and begin to build on it as the project grows to unleash the creativity within. Even with creativity there is a process.

Tomorrow I will be presenting my different planning approaches to the office space. It has been quite a challenge choosing what to present as I designed seven completely different concepts, all with their own strengths and weaknesses. I have gone from no design idea to too many design ideas in just a couple of weeks, and today I have narrowed it down to the required three.

I never can tell where that first decision will take me, but the process never ceases to amaze me, and I am so glad I learnt to trust in the initial confusion and let it be the melting pot for all the ideas that eventually come. It does seem as though I am being somewhat philosophical about the whole thing, and if that is the case then it is a philosophy I am reminding myself to embrace.

back to reality

The last couple of weeks have been for the most part wonderfully stress free. It has been a period of simple activity, and it felt really nice to not be rushing around as much as we usually are. I really felt that this particular holiday break had a rejuvenating quality to it. But reality has been on the horizon for a few days now, and today I am willing to admit that it is hear again.

Yesterday the kids and I went back to school and today W is back at work, and our everyday lives begin again. Right now I should be studying and preparing a lesson plan for a lecture I have begun teaching this term, but I thought a quick blog update might be a nice way to ease myself back into a more industrious routine.

Life this term is bound to be a little different from the last. The noticeable change in the weather effects more than just the kids uniform change, it also effects the way we spend our down time and exert our energy. With daylight savings ended everyone seems to be moving at a slightly slower pace, and to be honest that is one of my favourite things about the cooler weather...

there is carrot on the table

I can't believe how fast time seems to be moving at the moment. April is well and truly under way, yet I can't help but feel as though I am still in the middle of March. How is it Easter crept up on me without me noticing? You would think all the rows of chocolate in the supermarket would be a giveaway, yet somehow I manged to put it completely out of my mind. Well at least there is not too much to do to be prepared for the big day, and after spending this morning baking I am pretty sure all is right in the world of Easter preparations - oh, and C remembered the carrot so we are definitely prepared. Happy Easter :)

well, perhaps it wasn't quite over

I hadn't realised it at the time, but after all the party planning the next item of importance on my agenda became end of term exams and completing my design project. I have spent the last couple of weeks trying to focus on my schoolwork; finalising all the details of my bar design and building a scale model as part of my graphic representation. It has undoubtedly been forced hibernation, but it was worth it because on Thursday morning I handed in my design, and in the afternoon I sat a 3-hour exam - and I can happily say that I think both went well.

It would be nice to think that a break lay ahead of me after all the hardwork this term, but I am a realist and first thing Friday morning I began ticking of those things on my to-do list. Unfortunately by Saturday I started feeling a little under the weather, and today I find myself wrapped up in a blanket with the heater on and the Panadol close at hand. So, rather than fight it I am willing to accept that a little rest is necessary, and ignore those things on my to-do list until at least Wednesday ;)

official march madness week now over

I never realised that when I gave birth to a bouncing baby boy in 1997 and then again in 2001 that it would be the cause of great anxiety in 2009. With C turning 8 and J turning 12 it has meant that we have had both a baptism and an Aaronic Priesthood ordination all at the same time (not to mention the two actual birthdays). We wanted these events to be special for each of them, and thanks to family and friends the boys both had a great day yesterday, which culminated in a party they will remember for some time.

Today I can sit back and say we have conquered and survived - but in this particular instance I couldn't have done it without the support of my family and friends. I can't tell you how blessed I feel to know that there are people in this world that love my children, and go beyond the call of friendship to show that love . My children not only have an immediate family with extensive aunties and uncles that they can turn to when in need, but they are surrounded by a community that watch them grow every week, and who inevitably have adopted them as part of their families too. I hope they one day realise how truly blessed their childhood will have been, and how much love surrounds them each and every day.

create

 

Love this :)

the joy (and heartbreak) of technology

Last week I was up until 4.30am working on an assignment that required the use of both Auto CAD and Photoshop. The actual task wasn't that difficult but I think my computer thought otherwise. I spent more time waiting for things to process than I actually did working on the assignment, which became proof that it was indeed time for an upgrade.

I might be able to find my way around a keyboard, but I have little interest into what goes into a computer to make it run. Lucky for me I have a husband who is not so ignorant, and who actually sympathised with my late night ordeal, so much so that he went straight out the next day and ordered a new one.

As soon as we brought it home and began to set it up I had flashbacks of the last time we went through this process. Lets just say there is no such thing as a smooth transition when it comes to setting up a new system. Inevitably files go missing, and programs start playing up; and then of course there is the issue that all your bookmarked sites and email addresses seem to wander into cyber space where you never hear from them again.

Perhaps if I was a little more computer savvy I wouldn't have these issues, but alas reality says it must be so, and the excitement of my new super fast hard drive disappears under the reality of all the time it will take to get things back to normal once again.

Edited to Add: I am a little heartbroken to say that in the process of moving files from one computer to the other I lost 18 months worth of photos that weren't backed up, and my entire itunes library too. I used to be so good at backing up everything every month, yet because I don't take as many photos these days it takes more than a few months to be able to fill a CD for back up purposes, and I let the habit slide. Now I have to live with the consequences, so if you are reading this and you haven't backed up your important files lately - Do It Now!

focus...

My personal focus for this year is on 'comfort'.

Even though it is me who chose my own focus word, I find it strange that this is the word that I connected with. Towards the end of 2008 I began to think about what the new year had in store for me and what I had in store for it, and I was convinced that my focus would need to be something that encouraged energy and action, a focus that would keep the steam engine moving along the tracks - so to speak. But, I have learnt to listen to the Universe, and I woke up one morning wondering what the exact definition of 'comfort' was. I knew without a moments hesitation that I needed to be able to appreciate both physical and emotional comforts this year and learn to slow down amidst the chaos of everyday life. It is both about being comfortable within myself and giving comfort to others. It seems to me to have an underlying message of both health and nurturing, which seems a perfect ideal to concentrate on this year, and as long as I keep reminding myself what my focus is I should be able to cope with all the chaos that life throws at me.....well, at least that is the plan!